Gobbledygoop

A poem by Jim Hornsby (with apologies to Lewis Carroll)

 

‘Twas brimming, and the dipseyed scribes did wox and grabbe the brindled plonk:

All gribbly of their fribbled vibes, while gaffled billets tunked.

 

“Beware the Gobbledygook,” said one. “The slimpsy culch, the bimpsy yowf.

Beware the framis word, and shun the blatherskiting gnoff.”

 

“Kibosh. Kibosh the rammish gubble,” gered the scribblers through their barm.

“Rage at chattermucker’s mubble and the logogoguer’s charm.”

 

“Stay your yips and baffs and waggles. Snoogered kimmies will not do.

Aim to slay the thurming tuckets, which in truth are piffled ploo.”

 

So pledging jujasm in print, they spoke of slatched seas,

O’er jirbled culacinic feints and punts of dundered lees.

 

‘Twas brimming, and the dipsyed scribes did wox and grabbe the brindled plonk:

All gribbly of their fribbled vibes, while gaffled billets tunked.

 

 

GLOSSARY OF GOBBLEDYGOOK TERMS:

  • Baff – An inaccurate golf club swing striking the ground behind the ball
  • Barm – Froth on beer
  • Billet – Thumb piece on the lid of a beer stein
  • Bimpsy – Disappointing
  • Blatherskiting – Loud talking
  • Brimming – Glasses filled to capacity
  • Brindled – Dark colored
  • Chattermucker – Blabberering gossip
  • Culacinic – I made this one up, but culacino is Italian for the round mark left by a wet glass
  • Culch – nonsense; rubbish
  • Dipseyed – mildly intoxicated
  • Dunder – The dregs of liquor added to another to give more flavor
  • Feints – The last liquid from a still
  • Framis – Doubletalk for doubletalk
  • Fribble – An inadequate amount
  • Gaffled – Cocked, as a crossbow or flintlock
  • Gere – Rise up in a sudden fit of passion
  • Gnoff – Lout or Boor
  • Gobbledygook – Pompous or unintelligible jargon
  • Grabbe – Grope for
  • Gribble – Murmured undercurrent of conversation
  • Gubble – Meaningless conversation
  • Jirble – To pour out a drink unsteadily
  • Jujasm – Much needed relief
  • Kibosh – To change the shape of something
  • Kimmies – Target marbles to be knocked out of the circle with the shooter’s “Taw”
  • Lees – The dregs of wine or beer
  • Logogogue – Person who dictates how something must be written
  • Mubble – Absurd activity
  • Piffled – Trifling
  • Plonk – Inexpensive table wine
  • Ploo – The sound of a shoe lace breaking
  • Punt – The concave area in the bottom of some wine bottles
  • Rammish – Strongly scented
  • Scribe/Scribbler – Damon Runyonese for writers
  • Slatch – Quiet water between breakers
  • Slimpsy – Sleezy; of poor quality
  • Snooger – A close miss in the game of marbles
  • Thurm – Play coarsely on a musical instrument
  • Tucket – A trumpet flourish
  • Tunk – a light blow or the sound it makes
  • Vibes – Garry Trudeau’s “mellowspeak” for perceived inspirations or feelings
  • Waggles – The flourish of a golf club just before the back swing of a drive
  • Wox – A state of placid enjoyment
  • Yips – Nervous tension felt by golfers before a difficult shot. A yip is a bad putt
  • Yowf – Questionable authority; one whose importance exceeds his merit

 

 

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